he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
