just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
