He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
two words...techno handjob
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
