Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
