Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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