Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
