im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
