grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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