O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
