We're facebook friends in real life
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
