he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
