Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
