Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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