Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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