i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm too high and old for this...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
