at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
