i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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