Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
