Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
