somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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