Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
