i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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