Too much gin, very little bucket
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
