Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
