is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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