I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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