and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
