PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
