her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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