We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
