Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
