I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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