I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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