Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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