just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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