the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
