haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
