Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
