No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
