so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
