Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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