every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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