Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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