I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
