Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
