Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
