yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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