we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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