No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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