you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
