I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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