Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
