Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
