Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
