she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
