he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize