dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
