We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Someone shit on the floor
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
