im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
