how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
