Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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