i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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