Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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