do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
