p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My ass is underappreciated
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
