Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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