It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
