Michael Bay diarrhea
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
